


When you see me, you'll know

by bygoshbygolly



Category: Shoujo Kakumei Utena | Revolutionary Girl Utena
Genre: Developing Relationship, F/F, Memories, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-06
Updated: 2019-11-06
Packaged: 2021-01-23 23:03:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21328135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bygoshbygolly/pseuds/bygoshbygolly
Summary: Anthy had never counted on a happily ever afterYears later, she and Utena meet again.
Relationships: Himemiya Anthy/Tenjou Utena
Comments: 2
Kudos: 43
Collections: Femslash Exchange 2019





	When you see me, you'll know

**Author's Note:**

  * For [halfeatenmoon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/halfeatenmoon/gifts).

> I had about fifty million ideas for this ship, and this one won out. I hope you like it!
> 
> (Title from 'Never Quite Free' by the Mountain Goats)

Anthy had never counted on a happily ever after. Her fate had always been to dance in red hot iron shoes at her brother's wedding. A witch's fate.

Even after she found the strength to leave Ohtori, bolstered by the memory of Utena's tears and outstretched hand, she knew better than to expect something so neat, so unfair, as unwaning, unwavering happiness. Still, that did not mean she had to live in misery. She could make a life, and savor any happiness, and weather any pain, because it would be hers, and hers alone.

Unless. Until. There might be someone she could share it with.

Anthy didn't wait around for Utena. She'd put her life on hold for one person before; she'd not do it again. She went out several times, on good dates and bad, but there was so much she couldn't say. She didn't know how to talk about herself-- often didn't want to talk about herself-- and mysteries are only interesting for so long before they become frustrating. 

She didn't have to play the bride anymore. Being single was easier.

It was sunny, when Anthy finally ran into Utena. Or perhaps it would be more accurate to say Utena ran into her, nearly knocking her over as Anthy fed the birds in the park.

“Sorry!” A hand reached out to steady Anthy. “I didn't see you there. I guess I wasn't paying attention.” This last bit was followed by a nervous laugh.

Anthy would have recognized Utena anywhere. Her hair was shorter, now, and her jaw more defined, but she could have been changed into a cow and Anthy would have known her.

“I'm all right,” Anthy said. She looked up at Utena, waiting to see if she recognized her. There was a flicker in Utena's eyes, almost-recognition, but it faded. Anthy made herself laugh. “Hello, Utena. Don't you remember me?”

She still had some magic, after all this time; the magic was Ohtori's work, anyway, and she had made Ohtori. She pushed, and her words pierced the veil, and wonder bloomed in Utena's eyes.

“Himemiya,” she murmured. “Himemiya!” She took Anthy's hands in hers. “How could I forget? My old roommate!” She grinned, and Anthy pasted on a smile, trying not to feel disappointed. Remembering, it seemed, had only gone so far, and Utena had forgotten her before, when the hurt had been too much. But she'd remembered before, too. She could remember again. 

“Are you busy?” Anthy asked. “Would you like to get some tea? There's a cafe not too far from here.”

“Are you sure? I'm all sweaty.” Utena wrinkled her nose.

“It's fine.” Boldly, Anthy slid her arm through Utena's and led the way.

Utena had grown up since Anthy had seen her last. She seemed more thoughtful now, and less anxious. She didn't so much as mention princes.

It was good to see the differences, a sign things were allowed to grow, to change. A sign the world they were living in was real. And if those differences caused some resentment in Anthy, that this Utena in front of her was not the one she'd held in her heart all these years, well, she'd had plenty of practice squashing such feelings.

They talked about Ohtori, and about their lives now. Utena was in university, and still not sure what she wanted to do after. Anthy spoke about her job at the planetarium.

“I'm glad you're doing well,” Utena said, resting her chin in her hand and smiling. “I remember worrying about you at school.” She blinked, and her forehead creased in a frown. “I don't really remember why, though. That's strange.”

Anthy sipped her tea, and said nothing.

They kept meeting. Utena always looked happy to see Anthy, and Anthy found Utena's straightforwardness refreshing in a way she hadn't been able to appreciate when they were younger. They met, and talked, and Anthy found her eyes lingering on the lines of Utena's neck, the way her hands moved. It wasn't all that surprising, not really, but Anthy couldn't get used to the warmth blooming behind her ribs whenever Utena smiled at her.

They kept meeting, and every time Anthy tested the barriers of Utena's memory, trying to determine the correct words to unlock the rest of what had been forgotten. Perhaps it was cruel of her to want Utena to remember how she had failed, the pierce of the swords, all Akio's manipulations, but Anthy needed her to. She was lonely.

In the end, the spell was broken in the way so many are: with a kiss.

Anthy had grown increasingly bold since becoming her own person, and so she leaned in one morning as they sat by the lake and pressed her lips to Utena's.

Utena made a small noise of surprise, and cupped a hand to Anthy's jaw for one brief, lovely second before collapsing.

“Himemiya,” she croaked into Anthy's shoulder. She shuddered and clutched her chest. “_Anthy_. It hurts.”

“I know,” Anthy murmured. She pulled Utena close. She remembered the pain of thee swords, but surely here, outside Ohtori, where magic wasn't so strong, the feeling should subside. It had only been the one time, after all. “I have you.”

Utena whimpered, and Anthy felt her shoulder grew damp. She held onto Utena, anchoring her, until Utena quieted.

“Anthy,” she said again. “I remember now.” She looked up, and though her eyes were red and her face damp, she was smiling. “You broke out of the coffin.”

“I did.” Anthy let go. “It was time.” Now Utena had her full memories back, Anthy felt herself at a loss for words. An apology caught in her throat; she swallowed it back.

Utena took Anthy's hands in hers.

“I'm so glad,” she said. “I'm sorry I couldn't save you.”

Anthy felt a flush of her old irritation. But that was fine.

“You couldn't have saved me,” she replied. “I didn't need you to. I didn't want it.”

“I know,” Utena said, half to herself. “I didn't understand, did I? I'm still not sure I understand.” She bit her lip. “Is that all right?”

Anthy thought it over; they both deserved that much. Neither had left Ohtori-- or each other-- unscathed, and she know too well how patterns repeated, and where good intentions could lead. She thought about all those years when people thought they understood her, when really they were using her as a mirror for their own desires. Even Akio, who she had always thought was the only one who truly knew her, hadn't understood her in the end.

But.

“I don't know if anyone can truly understand anyone else,” she replied. “Perhaps if we did, we would lose ourselves. Maybe it's enough to listen, and to accept who they are.”

“I'm not always the best listener,” Utena said doubtfully. Anthy laughed.

“I remember.” She stood, and brushed the grass off her skirts. A duck took off from the pond, its wings dark against the lightening blue of the sky. Anthy extended a hand to Utena.

“Coming?”

Witches don't get happily ever afters, but Anthy wasn't a witch anymore. Princes do, but Utena had never been a prince. They were on their own path, now, and together, they'd write their own ending.


End file.
